A Love Letter to My Boys

My dear sweet sons,

     It has been so long since I last wrote you a love letter.  I am so very sorry I have let so much time slip by.  I have been busy making your days full of love and laughter.  The memories I hope to create for you are of time spent together.  For this, I know it will not matter to you that I have not written your letters, but to me it feels like time lost to record the details of our time together with you.  We love you with all of our hearts; I am confident you know it.  As much as we do though your heavenly Father out-loves your mom & dad.  He loves you more than anyone else can and ever will. Stay close to Him always.  One day we won't be able to be with you every minute of the day (and one day you'll want it that way LOL) but He will see everything you do and He'll be there for you anytime you seek Him.  My greatest hope is that you both love the Lord truly in your heart and live your life with His guidance.

I know you two are BOYS and could probably care less that your mushy mother writes you love letters, but someday when you have your own kids remember their mother might do the same thing ; )  It's a mom thing.  I'm not looking to turn you into ballerinas, just trying to express my load of love, you can't begin to measure!


                     Love always & forever truly, 
                                          Mom

Tryin to Stop Time

My little baby L is turning 1 in a month and a half and I find myself digging in my heels, trying to stop time.  It's not that I don't want him to grow up, I'd just like a little longer to hold him and rock him and cuddle closely.  Baby season is nearing an end for us.  Some days (correction...some moments) I get excited to get rid of all the space consuming baby gear (like the portable crib, bouncer, high chair, etc) but other days I wonder if I can ever let go of things we no longer need like the glider rocking chair that I spent so much time nurturing my babies with.  The moments we shared in it felt as if time was suspended.  The minutes that I thought just lingered, were really expiring.  Passing by one by one, never able to return or grasp.  Only memories can take me back to such times now.  I think, no, I KNOW it is why I have so many photos of our family's everyday life.  The moments that surround me, make my life! {Which revolves around my little boys and my other half.} ; ) Just thinking about the other day, comforting my little guy when he was restless, makes my nose run and eyes water : (  He kept waking up throughout the night and for a while I loved it because I got to embrace him and help him through it.  We cuddled in the recliner.  I kept sweeping my lips and cheek across his forhead, sweeping his hair.  I prayed he'd find comfort and hoped we could stay together in the chair all night.  I just couldn't sleep, thinking 'what if he falls off my lap.'  I was disheartened when I became deliriously tired and tried to take him to bed with me.  He just couldn't stay asleep.  I would have held him all night but my body was weak and began to shut down.  (He is a GREAT sleeper every night, so my body was in shock from the unusual trial I was putting it through.)  I have never slept next to my little love because I never have had the ability to.  My husband is kind of a violent sleeper LOL  he thrashes around too much to invite Baby to lay in between us ; ) I love my amazing husband.  I really loved him when he got up to hold L in the living room for a while... I don't remember a thing after they got up because I slept so sound knowing he was being taken care of by Daddy.  He got him to sleep 45 minutes later and L stayed asleep thankfully. 

Counting My Blessings

Back in 2009 when my first son was born, I started writing down (in a pink zebra print composition notebook) all of my blessings I felt during the day.  I loved jotting down the good things in my day, to have a tangible reminder on the days when it seemed everything went wrong that life was still great.  It was like a pick-me-up.  I'd like to say I just got too busy to stick with it, but honestly I think I just took my good days for granted ; )  My commitment to my daily count of blessing drifted off and ceased.  I sporadically made an entry here and there but now I think of how many times I wish I'd written down something to spark a memory for the gap of time between dates.  It wasn't until last night when I stumbled upon a fellow blogger's site and noticed her "1000 gifts" list that I realized I had discarded my journal to the depths of my desk (atleast I still had it though!).  She was inspired by a book she read called One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are.  It reminded me of this book I used to journal my account of the day's blessings.  So when I went to bed last night, I whipped out the ol' journal and began reading my earliest entries.  I enjoyed recalling those moments and added new ones for the past 3 days.  So much of the time, I get caught up in "what went wrong" with my day and oversee the BLESSINGS that intertwined my day.  Hahahaha, here's one: "I am thankful I stumbled upon Freedom at Home and School's blog to remind me of my daily blessings."